Jump!!

It was that perfect moment where everything around me was cold, but I found a patch of sunlight streaming in through the curtains and was encompassed by the sliver of sunshine and suddenly felt warm. I felt like a rock, exposed to the cold but being bathed in the warm sunshine. I admired the foliage outside the window as I removed one of my pink socks, then the other. I hid my face in the gray carpet and dozed off. I started my catnap curled in a ball, but as the warmth slowly flowed through out my whole body, I uncoiled and lay on my stomach.
* * * * *
My warm bare feet stung as the evening dew and the tight green grass caressed my toes. I could feel how small I was, compared to my surroundings. My two brothers aren’t much older than I am, but they seemed to tower over me. However, they too were dwarfed in comparison as a truck pulled into our driveway. It had a big white cab; it reminded me of the head of a dragon. The trailer seemed to stretch to the end of the block. The truck was tall, but it seemed a more normal size as the driver unfolded himself from the driver’s seat and joined us on the grass.
The man seemed familiar to me, but was strange enough to keep my feet cemented to the ground. As he came closer I felt a jolt of excitement somewhere in my stomach. He came straight for us, as if he had done so before. I felt an expectation, as if I were supposed to receive something from this man, a feeling, but not something tangible. I started to study my feet. I dug my tiny toes into the cold, wet dirt and tangled them in with the grass.
The man was now standing directly in front of us. He coughed, not because he was sick, but more to clear his throat, or maybe to announce himself. I raised my head and admired his height, towering above me. He caught my gaze and smiled. It was a half smile, almost cold. He silently gathered us and started to herd us into the house. His long legs carried him straight to the front door, making it there first. He stood in the doorway, as if to make sure that we knew that he had won. I dragged my feet against the hard concrete porch steps and I trailed along behind my brothers. He seemed agitated as I finally made my way through the door and into the house.
After dinner, I remember running my fingers along the cold, white wall as I walked down the hallway toward the bedroom I shared with my brothers. I stopped, mid step, for a moment and listened back to the kitchen. I listened to my mom making quiet, emotionless small-talk with my father. My father had just returned from driving the truck across the country, and would be parking the truck in front of our house until he found somewhere else to stay. I continued down the hall until I reached my room and went in. My brothers were already getting ready for bed. I quietly closed the door behind me, the man’s voice made me nervous. I stood by the foot of my bed, struggling with the zipper of my pajamas, when I heard a small, timid knock on the door. The door slowly inched open and the man slid his head in, but waited for assurance before fully entering the room. He crossed the room, getting dangerously close to me, but shifted and sat on my bed at the last moment.
We finished getting dressed, then paused, and waited for him to do something. It was his move. He didn’t say anything, but stood up from the bed and moved across the room. We orbited him and moved in the opposite direction, back toward the bed. He stood next to the tall brown dresser; then fiddled with the big black stereo that sat on top. He removed a cassette tape from his shirt pocket. He looked down at it for a moment, tucked in his fingers, before placing it in the tape player. His fingers hovered over the play button, as if still deciding his next move. We watched on, staring with sudden intensity. Then, click, play.
The strong beats of the music that came out practically jump started my heart. The song was completely unfamiliar to me, but my adrenaline started pumping out of control nonetheless. It sounded like the song that would be played at the end of a movie, right as the hero is taking in all of his glory. The lyrics started, making the passion ever more intense. With every beat of the music everyone’s muscles seemed to loosen, as if it were vibrating the stress right out of our bodies. We started swaying to the music, my father closed his eyes, tilting his head back, snapped his fingers, silently playing the guitar and mouthing the lyrics. I checked my brothers’ faces to understand what I should do next. They seemed to be letting the music take over their bodies as well, like slowly letting your feet get sucked into the sand on the beach. I tilted my head back and felt the music rush over me, letting it take me into a trance.
I get up! And nothing gets me down!
You’ve got to roll with the punches to get to what’s real
Might as well jump JUMP!
Might as well jump
Go ahead, jump JUMP
Go ahead, jump
Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!
Then it was over. I looked around me and took in the movements that had happened. The room was silent, aside from our panting and the static of blank tape player. We stood in thick, awkward silence for a few moments before the man reached across the room and pushed the rewind button. I fidgeted with my shirt while I waited for the whirling to subside. There was a click, then the strong beats of the song started all over again.
Within moments, I was flying. Being picked up by the song, flowing up and down with every beat. The music would fall, but my father’s arms would catch me. It was perfect chaos. I am encompassed by that sliver of happiness in such a cold situation. I grasped my face and felt the smile, I waited as it burst from my cheeks and exploded in laughter.
Might as well jump JUMP!
Might as well jump
Go ahead, jump JUMP
Go ahead, jump
Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!
With every Jump! we tested ourselves to see how high we could fly. I felt like I was in a movie, being put in slow motion; my feet softly hitting the bed and propelling me quickly back into the air. I sunk down into my knees and gazed around the room and admired the rest of the smiles. I threw my arms around myself and hugged, controlling my rapid breathing.
* * * * *
I watched as the lit crack in the doorway slowly diminished, leaving me in the dark. I brought my knees to my chest, cuddled into the blankets and dug my face into my pillow. I gazed out from where I had huddled my face and looked out, into the stars. I sighed, smiled, and closed my eyes.