Self prescribing myself a double dose of my medication was the best idea. I hate to say it, but meds work. I feel like I shouldn't support the idea of "synthetic happiness", but the times when I haven't taken my medication, I honestly feel sick. Its not an achy sick, like the flu or pneumonia, it feels like there is something wrong with me and that maybe if I just stay in bed I'll get better. Medications for depression work differently from one another, but the basic idea is that it works to balance certain chemicals produced in the brain. Depression is the unbalance of those chemicals, and I can feel it when the re-uptake is not blocked by my meds.
The thing about depression is that it doesn't get better. There are different treatments for it, but its so different for every person. To someone who doesn't know what it is, looks like, or feels like, depression might look like utter laziness. But to those of us who have felt it know that laziness is a simple feat compared to the constant battle of depression.
I don't know why I wrote this, I guess I just had to collect my thoughts and mention to the world that I do have my lazy times, but I am not a lazy person. I am clinically depressed, but with work, and medication I can function beautifully.